Stop Tending Someone Else’s Garden

From Inherited Choices to Intentional Living

In my last post, I mentioned that I’d finally started tending to my flowerbed every week but I didn’t really go into what it was that brought that change. When I closed on my house in 2020, I was lucky enough to move into a new construction. I got to have a say in every single detail big and small. Every detail except the landscaping which was picked for me by the builder and the HOA. At first, I didn’t hate it. But over time, I realized I didn’t really like it either. It wasn’t me.

And because it wasn’t mine, I didn’t care for it the way I do now.

For years, I gave it the bare minimum. I paid someone to come out every spring, pull the weeds, toss in some mulch, and make it look decent. But two months later, it always looked just as bad as before.

My juniper never grew. My hydrangeas wouldn’t bloom. One even had to be pulled out completely because it got strangled by weeds.

It finally hit me: something had to change.

A Garden That Reflects You

2025 brought some major changes that forced me to take a look at a lot of things in my life and to let go of whatever didn’t serve me. As I was doing some life restructuring, I realized that I wanted the outside to reflect my new inside. Mind, body, and home. So this past spring, I began researching things like sunlight, soil, watering needs, even the spiritual meaning of different flowers and bushes. I was determined to design something that reflected me. So I got to work.

And this time, I planted them myself.

The difference was night and day. Suddenly, I loved my garden because it wasn’t just “given” to me. It was chosen, built, and cared for by me. I wanted to tend it. I wanted to see it thrive.

And as I wiped the dirt off my hands that day, I realized: this is how life works, too.

Living in Someone Else’s Garden

So many of us live in gardens designed by someone else.

We take the career path our parents wanted for us. We pick relationships because other’s tell us they’re “safe.” We live by choices we never really made, we just inherited them.

And just like my old flowerbed, when we’re living a life designed by others, it shows. We give the bare minimum. We don’t tend to it. We just try to survive it.

But at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with the choices planted in your life.

Redesigning Your Life

The good news? You don’t have to keep living in a garden someone else built.

You can start small. Choose clothes that reflect who you are. Cut your hair the way you’ve always wanted. Cook food that excites you.

Then move on to bigger things. What college you want to attend. What career you want to pursue. Who you want to love.

The point is simple: when you design your life, you’ll want to tend to it. You’ll care for it in ways you never would if it was just handed to you. And when you care for it, it will grow.

 Blooms from my Dwarf Magnolia tree!